Sunday, February 7, 2016

Becoming A Butterfly


Clearly I've done so well on my resolutions.  In case you missed it, that's sarcasm.  I have just been stuck in this rut I was hoping the new year would give me the friction I needed to move out of it.  While I haven't done well, I haven't done badly either.  I've been very all areas.  I work and I sleep.  I'm so emotionally drained when I come home that I don't do much.  

In order to kick myself into gear, eat my last chocolate chip cookies, and drink my last soda, I have joined Shaun T's CIZE accountability group for the month.  I think this will give me the motivation I need to make some sustainable habits.  It will help develop consistency in exercising and eating well for sure.  This is great because it coincides with Lent, which is something I want to go back to.  I have kind of strayed from religion/spirituality, and I want to get back in touch with that side of myself...but that's another blog post. 

More importantly, I need to stop hiding.  That's why I think this group is so good for me.  I need to participate in it and open up instead of shutting it down.  That's why I don't blog, that's why I don't stay consistent, and that's, ultimately, why I don't succeed.  

It's about stepping out of the box, not accepting excuses, and putting my long term self in front of my short term feelings.  No longer do I let other people, feelings, and temporary situations control my life.  I'm so tired of being in this same spot day after day, week after week, month after month.  Now is the time to change. 

Tonight, I toast my old self (with my McDonald's coke) for all that she has taught me and shown me. Tonight, I sit on the branch, like the caterpillar, and take one last look at the sunset.  Tomorrow, I go into my cocoon, and, in the end, I will emerge as the butterfly.